Honesty is the Best Policy

Susan ♦ March 16, 2012 ♦ Leave Your Comment

And here I thought it was proceeding so nicely.

I was in the bathroom washing my hands yesterday and glanced at the mirror to monitor what I thought were obviously regenerating eyebrows. Thanks to chemo, they had abruptly thinned out in December although never disappeared entirely. They have been filling in (I thought) fairly noticeably over the past few weeks.

Anyway, my 5 year old logged my hesitation and asked what I was looking at in the mirror.

“I’m looking at my eyebrows. They used to look funny, but now they’re growing back. Do you think they look funny or are growing back?”

“They look funny.”

Oh well.

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If you are just joining me, you'll probably want to click way back to May 2011 (http://susan.chaosweb.net/2011/05/) when I first started this blog after being diagnosed with very early stage breast cancer at the age of 43. I've written through the entire experience so far, from mammogram to biopsy, diagnosis to mastectomy, recovery to reconstruction, and recovery (again!) to chemotherapy.

Despite the aggressive nature of ER-/PR- Her2+ invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC), my prognosis is actually very good. And although regular screening was certainly key in the early stage diagnosis, I've learned that mammograms are not infallible. (Nevertheless, Ladies, get those mammograms done!) I have also found that oncology is not always clear cut and sometimes you have to fight for what you think will serve you best.

The past several months have undoubtedly been a learning experience and I have attempted to chronicle every notable event and emotion, not only for my own benefit and to keep my loved ones in the loop, but also in the hope I might help someone else out there who has just received that life-changing call.

Best wishes for good health,
Susan

For me, one crucial part of moving past cancer is staying active, to not only lower the risk for recurrence but also to promote heart health while I'm taking the cancer fighting/heart compromising drug Herceptin. Over the years I've found that it's easier to stay active if I have specific training goals, i.e. races, in mind. Here is a running total of events I have in line thus far for 2012.

2/26. Preseason Burn Series #2 Triathlon -- 400 Yd Swim / 10Km Bike / 1.5 Mile Run

3/11. Race for Japan -- 5 Mile Run

3/25. Preseason Burn Series #3 Triathlon -- 400 Yd Swim / 10Km Bike / 1.5 Mile Run

5/12. Stanford Pow Wow 5K Run

5/12. Swim Art Open Water Clinic

6/3. Reservoir Triathlon -- 1/2 Mile Swim / 15 Mile Bike / 3 Mile Run

7/22. Splash & Dash -- 1 Mile Open Water Swim (skipped due to illness)

8/19. Norcal Open Water Swim -- 1 Mile Open Water Swim

9/23. Half Moon Bay (was 10K run, now changed to) Half Marathon!

I love to hear from friends. Please click here to leave me a message or to read all entries. Enter a name (ideally your own but feel free to embellish if you like), entirely optional email address and website, and of course a message (preferably not spam). Copy the characters in the grid carefully, click submit, and you will have just made me a very happy blogger. Thanks!

vicki
I just finished two weeks ago with my hair thanks to those penguins. I stumbled across your site when I googled breast cancer and caffine. I am not sure why, since I didn't see you mention it. I do miss my coffee. I love this site and really hope we meet one of these days on a race. My daughter and I are planning on doing the Nike marathon. You are incredible. Good health to you.

Cheryl Anthony
Susan, What a great entry. Though I am sorry to hear about your son's foot, you are absolutely correct. We have the ability to adapt to "a new normal" and continue with life, even if it is less comfortable. Congratulations on making it through this first year! Cheryl

Lynn Winters
Hi Susan, What great news about the mammogram! You have had a rough road, but your positive spirit and gifted writing infused with humor will inspire many. Thanks for sharing and hope a trip to Texas might be in your future! Love, Lynn

Micki
Susan, I've been thinking about you. Thanks for sharing your journey. I know it has been a rough one, but it appears to have its rewards. Much love! Micki

Your Favorite Niece
it makes me feel fat how you exercise more than i do and i don't even have cancer. i need to do something productive. LOVE YOOOU!!!! Rachel

Adam Ruthford
Congratulations on finishing your last Taxol treatment. I know that has to be a great relief for you and Earl.

Don Bailey
Dear Susan, It was so great to get your Christmas card with all those individual photos. :-) The family looks great, as do YOU. I’m picking up some coconut oil first thing tomorrow! Thanks for including the link to your blog. I had just finished reading “Steve Jobs” on my new Kindle Fire (yes, I love it), so I started your blog from the very beginning right away. Of course, I was worried about your health, so I read the latest entry first just to make sure you were okay before I took time to read. First, let me say how happy I am you're doing so well. Your blog reads as well as any novel. It is engaging, full of facts and research, humor, great photos, and excellent ideas about life and health that we can all learn from (you'll notice the preposition I ended that sentence with - oops, there's another…). You (and Earl) are truly remarkable. I loved your metaphors and verbal challenges to the cancer itself, and I was AMAZED at your research and knowledge about all things related. Most important, I was impressed and inspired by your active role in the treatments. I've often said I should take an advocate with me for doctors’ visits, since I tend not to remember anything said, but you’ve been your own advocate throughout, and no doubt it has contributed to your unusual well-being during your therapy. Probably most rewarding as I read was simply the revisiting of my friendship with you - remembering the gifted student and flute player you were. Coaching you was a highlight of my teaching days, and I enjoyed knowing your entire family (except for David, whom I don’t recall meeting, or did I?). I may write a private email later, but I wanted to tell you how delightful (odd word to use to describe a cancer blog…) it was to read your posts. I’m sure it’s been and can still be a useful resource for others going through similar treatments. It read like a novel; perhaps you will think about publishing it. Anyway, it’s great to hear you’re doing so well. Please give my regards to your mother and your very special family. Thank Earl for me for his exemplary support. And one more thing… do you think cold caps could grow NEW hair? ;-) My very best, Don

Inga Van Riper Hansen
Hi Susan, I just wanted to let you know that I am so glad I know you and have shared a part of my life with you. You are so brave and write so eloquently about cancer. It was a joy to see your christmas card. Your old friend, Inga

Naomi
Happy 2012 to you and the whole family! Here's to a healthier year for all of you. We loved the New Year's card. The kids have grown and changed so much in the last few months! You are such an inspiration to me (and probably others). I would like to point out how proud I am of my brother - we should all have men of this caliber at our side during moments of crises like this!

Gabrielle
Susan, Just got your holiday card and immediately accessed your site. I'm sure your diligence to research and documentation of your treatment will be a great source of information and comfort to others who may be battling breast cancer. You are amazing and a wonderful inspiration. You are and will continue to be in my thoughts. Much hugs and love from Texas.

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