Christmas in September

Hallelujah!  I’ve polished off my to do list and plan to reward myself with a bit of R&R — Reexcision and Reconstruction, that is.

Before I sign off for a couple of days, I wanted to mention that my brother Dale will be taking control of the blog while I’m incapacitated. Think of him as next in command for the Surreal Sojourn Line of Succession.  Be on the lookout for updates on my surgery tomorrow directly from Dale at the hospital.

Back in May when we realized that I might have more than just DCIS, I contrived a fictitious schedule.  I often do that sort of thing to mentally take control, something in short supply back then during my spiraling health predicament.  At any rate, the schedule went something like this:  surgery in June, recovery in July, adjuvant treatment August through October, recovery in November, and finally reconstruction in December, just before the holidays.

That last bit would mean I’d get the holiday present perfect for any woman (who’d had a mastectomy) — a new breast!  Moreover, it seemed a theme song was needed to accompany this flight of fancy, and I found the perfect one (with some minor adjustments).  Thanks in advance to Don Gardner who penned the original classic back in 1946 after noticing many of his young grade school students were missing their central incisors.  This is what I’ll be humming in my head tomorrow, as opposed to the title song from Rocky back in June.  Yes, I realize the last few lines don’t really make sense.  Feel free to post your own improved lyrics in the comments section if you are so inclined.

Everybody pauses and stares at me

That old right breast is gone as you can see

I don’t know just who to blame for this catastrophe!

But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!


All I want for Christmas

is a new right breast,

a new right breast,

yeah a new right breast.


Gee if I could only

have a new right breast

then I could wish you

“Merry Christmas.”

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